About maddygirl820 : Hi! I've written a published (fake hehe) FML before under the username 'highschoolsucks', and after it was published I decided to make an account! Hahahaha
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maddygirl820's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
by highschoolsucks / 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm / United States / Work
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm / Norway (Ostfold) / Kids
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML
by Username / 08/13/2011 at 7:45am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
by crazylobster / 11/14/2009 at 11:52am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML
by itsjustmyluck / 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML
by GhettoBeast / 09/08/2009 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
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- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…