About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.
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maddiiee00's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML
by kiss98367 / 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 2:43am / United States / Love
by lamsolonely / 05/12/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
- Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my… Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get… Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my…
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I…