maddiiee00

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Offline (the 12/23/2015 at 5:21am)

maddiiee00

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4788
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.

maddiiee00's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:05pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 6:28pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:17am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:57am<b>thiswhitey</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 4:54pm<b>lekimdraw</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:52pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:32pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:43pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:46pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:34am<b>Bittenchaos</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:45pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 12:29am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 3:51am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:33pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:59pm

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maddiiee00's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

by Zanovitch / 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

by cookiemonster / 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

by hairless by death / 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 2:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

by wildwonder808 / 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

by idonteven / 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles / 08/12/2013 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Love