maddiiee00

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Offline (the 12/23/2015 at 5:21am)

maddiiee00

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5257
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.

maddiiee00's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:05pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 6:28pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:17am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:57am<b>thiswhitey</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 4:54pm<b>lekimdraw</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:52pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:32pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:43pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:46pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:34am<b>Bittenchaos</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:45pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 12:29am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 3:51am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:33pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:59pm

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maddiiee00's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

by justwantingtohelp / 08/16/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

by stinky car / 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

by lawman / 08/15/2013 at 9:34am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML