About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.
maddiiee00's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
maddiiee00's favorite FMLs
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
by justwantingtohelp / 08/16/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML
by stinky car / 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML
by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by lawman / 08/15/2013 at 9:34am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work
Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML
by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health
by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML
by PapaMoti / 08/15/2013 at 4:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
by YayItsYasmine / 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm / Austria (Karnten) / Miscellaneous
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…