About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.
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maddiiee00's favorite FMLs
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
by Parenting... / 08/27/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by ocdistheworst / 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by -.- / 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML
by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 10:29am / United States / Love
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by seriously? / 08/23/2013 at 3:40am / Miscellaneous
by NotInterested / 08/23/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML
by ShadowReiku / 08/22/2013 at 10:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Embarrassed / 08/22/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by baconbxtch / 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come… Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up… Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed…