About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.
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maddiiee00's favorite FMLs
by charlieg9 / 08/30/2013 at 8:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by rapunzel3416 / 08/30/2013 at 5:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by scammed / 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
by Pontiacman92 / 08/29/2013 at 3:07am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by the other man / 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML
by dhskkf / 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm / United States / Love
- Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…