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maddiecat

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maddiecat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 11820
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>SandpitNinja</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (1311)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8996) - you deserved it (72827)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML

#21509780
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/31/2015 at 2:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML

#21506480
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (7888)

On 12/22/2015 at 4:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

#21505729
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27658) - you deserved it (1532)

On 12/20/2015 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

#21497528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (1412)

On 11/27/2015 at 3:21pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

#21496891
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11684) - you deserved it (27915)

On 11/26/2015 at 12:35am - misc - by clumsy - United States (Missouri)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

#21496594
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML

#21495744
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/23/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

#21493950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/18/2015 at 8:47am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to see a movie with a seemingly nice guy after a friend set us up. As soon as the movie started, he unzipped his pants and told me to "get to it". FML

#21493607
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (2342)

On 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by strawberry - United States (Colorado)



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