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macystar

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macystar
  • Town/Country : Jacksonville, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 252
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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macystar's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

#21013681
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (9617)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41546) - you deserved it (5823)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33532) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35265) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (9469)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

#21012276
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (11096)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (4341)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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