macystar

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macystar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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macystar's page activity

Visits<b>roman11</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:51pm<b>Lolcorgi123</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:28pm<b>AshPokemon</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:43pm<b>MadeIn2015</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:51pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:16am<b>thanazon</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:49am<b>starsierra</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:51am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:47pm<b>peggscott</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:24am<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:16pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Theghostlyisaiah</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:50am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:45pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:02pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:51pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:52pm<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:04am

macystar's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of macystar's badges

macystar's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

by fuckmuppeter512 / 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot / 01/04/2014 at 2:21am / United States / Animals

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

by noway / 01/03/2014 at 6:03am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

by Frustrated / 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

by neta_1996 / 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

by Babs / 01/02/2014 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Love