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macy77875

Offline (the 12/23/2015 at 6:09am) | Search for a member

macy77875

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  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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macy77875's page activity

Visits<b>DarthVerona</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:40am<b>brooklynrage</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 5:39pm

macy77875's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of macy77875's badges

macy77875's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25526) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

#21494137
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (1825)

On 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm - work - by Secret Isis supporter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML

#21493320
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (1809)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by kitkat1740 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

#21491655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:24am - love - by Porche - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going". She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML

#21483470
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

#21475588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (4212)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:42am - love - by JJ (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

#21475547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (3423)

On 10/03/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by NothowIimaginedmyday (woman) - United States

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (8657)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML

#21472823
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22749) - you deserved it (2340)

On 09/26/2015 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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