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mackenzie2323's FML badges
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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mackenzie2323's favorite FMLs
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Lilly / 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by Ralph / 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire.… Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the… Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she…