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mackenzie2323's FML badges
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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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mackenzie2323's favorite FMLs
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Lilly / 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by Ralph / 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…