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mac_miller55

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 778
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mac_miller55's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (13117)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (5285)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (3772)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (57248)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (22978)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49024) - you deserved it (6768)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69700) - you deserved it (6673)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
542 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224748) - you deserved it (24668)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71182) - you deserved it (21053)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75114) - you deserved it (5006)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195028) - you deserved it (30735)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)



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