maaariana

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maaariana

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1634
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maaariana's page activity

Visits<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:52pm

maaariana's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

maaariana's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

by Elis / 03/01/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

by belladonna / 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

by Megan / 02/23/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

by pineapple456 / 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML

by charpanda007 / 02/15/2009 at 8:56am / Hong Kong / Health

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

by shinoza / 02/13/2009 at 10:02am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

by Yazzy / 02/13/2009 at 4:57am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

by atterz123 / 02/12/2009 at 8:37am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Miscellaneous