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m5ar123

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 8:26am) | Search for a member

m5ar123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 557
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About m5ar123 : Hi

m5ar123's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:04pm<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:43pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Amant97</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:51pm<b>ElizaWy</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:41pm<b>emilyporter_14</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:58pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 5:46pm<b>bellles</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:33pm<b>naajster</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:31am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 3:36am<b>martialart1st18</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:54pm<b>warsun</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 2:50pm<b>negb</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:42am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 12:31am

m5ar123's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of m5ar123's badges

m5ar123's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26820) - you deserved it (3705)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

#21425373
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (1699)

On 06/13/2015 at 8:42am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (7553)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

#21422575
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm - animals - by terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2487)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (9818)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

#21420534
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27566) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:17am - animals - by avatarnicole9 (woman) - Canada

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (2042)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (2562)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

#21419164
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by kash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (2864)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (11199)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)



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