Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lyssgross

Search for a member

lyssgross

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8381
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>Drakulya696</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:30am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Coland</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:59pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:23pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:08pm<b>kirstenmartin</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>Tthug</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:16am<b>soovyl</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:43am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:54am

Fucked!<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64492) - you deserved it (19121)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (64897)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (49352)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72996) - you deserved it (3222)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

#94362
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48145) - you deserved it (12412)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:30am - love - by schellbytheseashore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (16477)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (461815)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (461815)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

#11697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78809) - you deserved it (17277)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (36330)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63234) - you deserved it (8262)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (39669)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11573) - you deserved it (34127)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15365) - you deserved it (75396)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: