Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8983
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>Celeden</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:37pm<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:26pm<b>zanoty</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:04pm<b>Drakulya696</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:30am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Coland</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:59pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:23pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:08pm<b>kirstenmartin</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>Tthug</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:16am

Fucked!<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML


I agree, your life sucks (69327) - you deserved it (7243)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (94911) - you deserved it (22818)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (84428) - you deserved it (4700)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55280) - you deserved it (9128)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (7109)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (124835)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (116414)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10733) - you deserved it (89190)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (57769)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (108660)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML


I agree, your life sucks (78531) - you deserved it (3851)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55028) - you deserved it (4934)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (516465)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: