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lyssgross

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lyssgross

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6908
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>kirstenmartin</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>Tthug</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:16am<b>soovyl</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:43am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:54am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:37pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:56am<b>deepfreeze78</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:14pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:49am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:05pm<b>tard1s</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:21pm<b>BecauseIAmBatman</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>Dantheman9002</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:52am<b>mackiej860</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:55am<b>ArgentumAurum</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

#1404603
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65394) - you deserved it (6828)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92131) - you deserved it (22167)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79704) - you deserved it (4366)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53610) - you deserved it (8628)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (6662)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (121024)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20275) - you deserved it (109829)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (86632)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95615) - you deserved it (39073)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (55359)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13723) - you deserved it (103397)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76577) - you deserved it (3697)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53143) - you deserved it (4764)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)



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