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lyssgross

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lyssgross
  • Town/Country : Littleton, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2609
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

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lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

#3069493
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (5151)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49327) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (8170)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

#2741665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (9170)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66945) - you deserved it (4527)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

#2427571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7979) - you deserved it (61514)

On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

#2395953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (49315)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

#2376689
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62848) - you deserved it (5477)

On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72870) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

#2267946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78888) - you deserved it (4353)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (133761)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (82809)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (38729)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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