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lyssgross

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lyssgross
  • Town/Country : Littleton, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2618
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

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lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (7805)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3914)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (9932)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5315) - you deserved it (49427)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (4605)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (1853)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (2274)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (2368)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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