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lyke's favorite FMLs
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 4:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
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- Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during… Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site… Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper.…