Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lyfewitj

Search for a member

lyfewitj

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lyfewitj : A latino kidd with no life lol

lyfewitj's page activity

Visits<b>Lobster</b> - the 11/27/2009 at 10:12pm

lyfewitj's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lyfewitj's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you deserved it (4652)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15623) - you deserved it (48981)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (98288)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44969) - you deserved it (4161)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13779) - you deserved it (53334)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85586) - you deserved it (6493)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52471) - you deserved it (4011)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123692) - you deserved it (7763)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

#2734001
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47546) - you deserved it (8252)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73987) - you deserved it (8886)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
915 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62928) - you deserved it (657815)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: