lurch87

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Offline (the 04/16/2016 at 9:10am)

lurch87

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 940
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lurch87 : I'm a tall, fun loving guy. I work in engineering, umpire for the local football and enjoy catching up with friends. Want to know more then send me a message.

lurch87's page activity

Visits<b>walid820014</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 8:43am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:11pm<b>player20270</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 3:46pm<b>dancerkatie95</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:10am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:11am<b>nfern046</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:21pm<b>whatunicorn</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 6:56pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:18am<b>kandysnow</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 2:27am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:36pm<b>hawkette_54</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:02pm<b>InnocenceBlue</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:36am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:18am<b>chloe24601</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:09pm<b>maggiefox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Enkeria</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:46pm<b>snsindnxi</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:22pm

lurch87's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of lurch87's badges

lurch87's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

by cloudberry / 05/27/2012 at 4:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2011 at 7:47am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals