About lurch87 : I'm a tall, fun loving guy. I work in engineering, umpire for the local football and enjoy catching up with friends. Want to know more then send me a message.
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lurch87's favorite FMLs
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health
by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by cloudberry / 05/27/2012 at 4:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2011 at 7:47am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
- Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel… Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were… Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of…