lungjiao

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lungjiao

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2045
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lungjiao's page activity

Visits<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:20pm<b>Minea</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 2:46pm<b>princessofbelair</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:17am<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:08pm<b>luckygirl2522</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:18pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:56am<b>ladycoco8</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 1:21am<b>oliviagearshift</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:02am<b>baileythedancer</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:45am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:34am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:45pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:26pm<b>DeadCDbooZ</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:23am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:16pm<b>nancy4494</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 12:04pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:45pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 11:59pm

lungjiao's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lungjiao's badges

lungjiao's favorite FMLs

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, as always, I'm so flat-chested and childlike in appearance that my boyfriend successfully passed me off as his little sister to save money at a restaurant. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2015 at 3:48am / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

by kinkyapparently / 10/22/2015 at 10:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 9:31am / United States / Work