About lukemack : Hi I'm Luke I live in Australia I'm a car painter by trade live with my girlfriend of 3 years and love out doors activities.
lukemack's FML badges
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
lukemack's favorite FMLs
by thecatlady / 02/27/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Transportation
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
by Mimi / 11/29/2012 at 12:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML
by Tyler / 09/03/2012 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 2:31am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health
Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML
by whymegirl / 07/22/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to…