lucyford

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lucyford

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18704
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lucyford's page activity

Visits<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:27pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:13am<b>bamhm182</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 2:05am<b>td32</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 5:05pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 1:58am<b>audreyelise</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 11:28pm<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 11:23pm<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 9:23pm<b>Elvana</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 7:45pm<b>Kamarov</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 7:12pm<b>ibabyd0llaz</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:06pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 4:57pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 4:32pm<b>weezyfmapes</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 2:11pm<b>circayouandme</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 10:28am<b>trucanadian</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 3:36am

lucyford's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lucyford's favorite FMLs

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

by Michael / 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

by anythingjean / 05/25/2009 at 5:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

by jonas_93 / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

by Myriam / 03/22/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

by MarMar / 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

by depresso / 03/13/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous