lovethenumber13

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Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 3:14am)

lovethenumber13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3371
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lovethenumber13 : I am an extreme bookworm with a soft spot for bad jokes, I have somewhat of a dark sense of humor, I'm really into alternative music, and I am currently in a loving relationship with my girlfriend of two years.

Oh, and I'm also a slight pyromaniac.

lovethenumber13's page activity

Visits<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:16am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:04pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:21pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:18pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:13am<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:20am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:51am<b>blueberry_vibes</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:13pm<b>etrejo626</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:49am<b>mandyrozrox</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:14am<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:17pm<b>neonstarr</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 8:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:54pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:01am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:03pm

lovethenumber13's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of lovethenumber13's badges

lovethenumber13's favorite FMLs

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

by sashimi9999 / 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

by even axe would smell better / 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 1:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

by well i'm fucked / 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Love