Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lovethenumber13

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 3:14am) | Search for a member

lovethenumber13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1530
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lovethenumber13 : I am an extreme bookworm with a soft spot for bad jokes, I have somewhat of a dark sense of humor, I'm really into alternative music, and I am currently in a loving relationship with my girlfriend of two years.

Oh, and I'm also a slight pyromaniac.

lovethenumber13's page activity

Visits<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:04pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:21pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:18pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:13am<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:20am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:51am<b>blueberry_vibes</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:13pm<b>etrejo626</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:49am<b>mandyrozrox</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:14am<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:17pm<b>neonstarr</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 8:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:54pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:01am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:03pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:32pm

lovethenumber13's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of lovethenumber13's badges

lovethenumber13's favorite FMLs

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67642) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

#20942793
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (40292)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57739) - you deserved it (6028)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53495) - you deserved it (7800)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39610) - you deserved it (6272)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (5241)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56805) - you deserved it (5417)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53027) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36781) - you deserved it (7023)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (3894)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86955) - you deserved it (6205)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: