Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lovethenumber13

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 3:14am) | Search for a member

lovethenumber13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2078
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lovethenumber13 : I am an extreme bookworm with a soft spot for bad jokes, I have somewhat of a dark sense of humor, I'm really into alternative music, and I am currently in a loving relationship with my girlfriend of two years.

Oh, and I'm also a slight pyromaniac.

lovethenumber13's page activity

Visits<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:04pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:21pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:18pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:17am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:13am<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:20am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:51am<b>blueberry_vibes</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:13pm<b>etrejo626</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 7:49am<b>mandyrozrox</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:14am<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:17pm<b>neonstarr</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 8:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:54pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:01am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:40am<b>BFons</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:03pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:32pm

lovethenumber13's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of lovethenumber13's badges

lovethenumber13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45129) - you deserved it (5538)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (3153)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34579) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (117)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36703) - you deserved it (3559)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53365) - you deserved it (10743)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (2903)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37243) - you deserved it (5758)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: