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lovesummers's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation
by Aggressive / 07/24/2013 at 9:12am / Ireland (Dublin) / Holidays
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML
by Lizzie / 05/30/2013 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation
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- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…