loulumpkin

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loulumpkin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 September 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2340
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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loulumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>Leo619</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 12:49am<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:38pm<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:24am<b>Raveen</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:32pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheOneAndOnly5</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:10pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:29pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:11pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:07am<b>AdolfH</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:39pm<b>az1970</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:19pm<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:27pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:45pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:39am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:04am<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:10pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:18pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:12am

loulumpkin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of loulumpkin's badges

loulumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

by Ugggggggggg / 11/06/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

by xXfloatingshitlogXx / 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 9:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

by lilithfaye / 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm / United States / Love

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

by Midnightpearls / 11/02/2012 at 11:39am / United States / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

by AbandonedHouseWife / 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous