loulumpkin

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loulumpkin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 September 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1917
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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loulumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:38pm<b>jacksontb</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:24am<b>Raveen</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:32pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheOneAndOnly5</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:10pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:29pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:11pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:07am<b>AdolfH</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:39pm<b>az1970</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:19pm<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:27pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:45pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:39am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:04am<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:10pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:12am

loulumpkin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of loulumpkin's badges

loulumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 5:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

by mahanaaa_23 / 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Love

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

by daughterinlaw / 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous