Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lotus0313

Offline (the 08/04/2015 at 2:15am) | Search for a member

lotus0313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 March 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 888
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lotus0313 : If you have a question message me

lotus0313's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:08am<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:06am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:36pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:03pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 4:07pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:45pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:27pm<b>snugglesMcGee199</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:25am<b>windell</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:59pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:37pm<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:38am<b>D3ATHZ3RO</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:22am<b>billyz77</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:22am

lotus0313's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lotus0313's badges

lotus0313's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (6723)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45981) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (34182)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (6286)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (7168)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (11706)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (3990)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (5600)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: