lotrgeek

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Offline (the 07/31/2015 at 8:29pm)

lotrgeek

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1258
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About lotrgeek : It makes me feel better about me to read other people's FMLs... FML.

lotrgeek's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - yesterday at 11:13am<b>tipperO1</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 6:57pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:26am<b>GeorgeThatDude</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 2:38pm<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:41am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 5:07pm<b>KribAndSpek</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:57am<b>unotrea</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:26pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:10pm<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:36pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:16pm<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:35pm<b>Angrylinez</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:32pm<b>annabrandl</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:33pm<b>talhamen</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:47pm<b>StaySmexy</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:16pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - yesterday at 5:13pm

lotrgeek's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lotrgeek's badges

lotrgeek's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

by J / 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Animals