loto

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loto

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22631
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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loto's page activity

Visits<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:43am<b>imthebuilder</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:02am<b>nickinoodle</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:20am<b>little_fucker</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:56am<b>DrWateryCat</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:13am<b>singer0421</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:41am<b>pandora_star</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:50pm<b>forever_a_zebra</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:30am<b>unknownfork</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 10:49pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:36am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 10:51pm<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:34pm<b>noncom</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:21pm<b>angylee</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 12:10pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:20pm<b>Candyholic</b> - the 02/04/2010 at 4:07pm<b>ThecHappell</b> - the 11/28/2009 at 10:02am

loto's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

loto's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 7:54am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

by gettingacat / 12/17/2009 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy