lorraineald

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Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 8:07pm)

lorraineald

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 821
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lorraineald : I love cats.

lorraineald's page activity

Visits<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:04am<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:23pm<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:01am<b>MrNiceGuy569</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 4:11pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:27pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:28am<b>ns1985</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Shrapnel_strikes</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:22pm<b>megpie20693</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:59pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Futebol_Queen11</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:28am<b>GodfriedGrobler</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:27am<b>catchmypanties</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:17am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:27am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:28pm<b>Jason324</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:10am

Fucked!<b>MrNiceGuy569</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Futebol_Queen11</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:29pm<b>GodfriedGrobler</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:27pm

lorraineald's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lorraineald's badges

lorraineald's favorite FMLs

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

by DM / 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love