About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
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lorellecaimyth's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML
by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
by jill / 02/25/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Intimacy
by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by waymoreiwanted / 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole… Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my… Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with…