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lorellecaimyth

Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 4:24am) | Search for a member

lorellecaimyth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1953
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
&
MTFBWY

lorellecaimyth's page activity

Visits<b>happygolucky16</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:07am<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:13pm<b>RedSoloCup</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:10am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:49pm<b>AdrastosArmor</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:15pm<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:08am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:36am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:51am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:18pm<b>CUrraNT</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:13am<b>juan3611</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:47am<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 8:57pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:52pm<b>tompou6</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:28pm

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lorellecaimyth's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (5528)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
189 comments

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (11858)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (7466)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you deserved it (4324)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36660) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50881) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50920) - you deserved it (9315)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49379) - you deserved it (5692)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (17870)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (39531)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52811) - you deserved it (7860)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50690) - you deserved it (8822)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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