lorellecaimyth

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Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 4:24am)

lorellecaimyth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2938
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lorellecaimyth : LLAP
&
MTFBWY

lorellecaimyth's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:19am<b>happygolucky16</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:07am<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:13pm<b>RedSoloCup</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:10am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:49pm<b>AdrastosArmor</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:15pm<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:08am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:36am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 9:51am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:18pm<b>CUrraNT</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:13am<b>juan3611</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:47am<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 8:57pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:52pm

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lorellecaimyth's favorite FMLs

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

by GAGirl1 / 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

by Shit / 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids