lordslaya53

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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:12pm)

lordslaya53

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lordslaya53
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5723
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:28pm<b>queenxriley_</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:44am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:19am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 9:17pm<b>jurgen15948501</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:09pm<b>erase_my_ears</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:04pm<b>ConFuzzld</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:20am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:48pm<b>sarahgoulding</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 11:43pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:38pm<b>amc597</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:23pm<b>EezyWay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:44am<b>kalibunk</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:50am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:56am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:17am<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

by anonix / 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm / Canada / Work

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

by nocat6 / 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work