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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 677
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lopezoliviajane : All you need to know is that I love to laugh, I prefer dogs over cats. My favorite books are the Harry Potter series, and I love horror movies.

lopezoliviajane's page activity

Visits<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 9:51pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:02pm<b>Sammmmi</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:58pm<b>fishbones100</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:32pm<b>wjohn717</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:53am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:34pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:24am<b>klol101</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:36am<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:45am<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:42pm<b>nnnntr</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:36pm<b>dengleh</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:18pm<b>Rottlife</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:17pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:01pm<b>keifman7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:17am<b>IspSG</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:00am<b>sh07</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:11pm

Fucked!<b>rjc490</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 12:02am<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:15pm

lopezoliviajane's FML badges

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lopezoliviajane's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

by vmml97 / 08/01/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

by nela25 / 07/30/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

by moms know best??? / 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

by moms know best??? / 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

by Unknown / 10/18/2011 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Transportation

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 7:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love