Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1773
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lolnothanks's page activity

Visits<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:53am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:26am<b>chatokun</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:27am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:37am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:22am<b>killer0689</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:19am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:35am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:04pm<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:19am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:37am<b>sstahpp</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:06am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:14am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:28am

lolnothanks's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lolnothanks's badges

lolnothanks's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38579) - you deserved it (2964)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57490) - you deserved it (3246)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49823) - you deserved it (5513)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63337) - you deserved it (19813)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (6106)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML


Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (21246)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63530) - you deserved it (4630)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (68805)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36341) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43894) - you deserved it (5858)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57163) - you deserved it (4537)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60960) - you deserved it (3668)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: