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lolnothanks

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 10:36am) | Search for a member

lolnothanks

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1510
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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lolnothanks's page activity

Visits<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:53am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:26am<b>chatokun</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:27am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:37am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:22am<b>killer0689</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:19am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:35am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:04pm<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:19am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:37am<b>sstahpp</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:06am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:14am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:28am

lolnothanks's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lolnothanks's badges

lolnothanks's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49454) - you deserved it (4229)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51807) - you deserved it (5867)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42187) - you deserved it (7997)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21899) - you deserved it (48804)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58358) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46533) - you deserved it (8747)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46636) - you deserved it (14610)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

#21012735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (9684)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (9488)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (6793) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

#21005375
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (2759)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56392) - you deserved it (3173)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48906) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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