lolnothanks

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Offline (the 07/17/2016 at 7:58am)

lolnothanks

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2315
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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lolnothanks's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:30am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:18am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:56am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 7:00am<b>wulff115</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:39pm<b>saxophonePLAYER</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:18pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:59pm<b>jakemf</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:19pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27am<b>droid1126</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:56pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:53am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:26am<b>chatokun</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:14am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:28am

lolnothanks's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of lolnothanks's badges

lolnothanks's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

by wish his dad had worn one / 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

by that girl / 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

by not a dumbass pothead / 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous