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lolnothanks's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
lolnothanks's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML
by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by ijustwantpizza / 01/07/2015 at 7:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health
by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love