lolnothanks

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Offline (the 07/17/2016 at 7:58am)

lolnothanks

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2313
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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lolnothanks's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:30am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:18am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:56am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 7:00am<b>wulff115</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 4:39pm<b>saxophonePLAYER</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:18pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:59pm<b>jakemf</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:19pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27am<b>droid1126</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:56pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:53am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:26am<b>chatokun</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:14am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:28am

lolnothanks's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of lolnothanks's badges

lolnothanks's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

by ijustwantpizza / 01/07/2015 at 7:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love