Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lolnothanks

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 7:43am) | Search for a member

lolnothanks

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1843
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lolnothanks's page activity

Visits<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:14pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:53am<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:43am<b>pred8885</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:26am<b>chatokun</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:27am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:37am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:22am<b>killer0689</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:19am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:35am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:04pm<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:19am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:37am<b>sstahpp</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:06am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:14am<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ExastirisDragon</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:28am

lolnothanks's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lolnothanks's badges

lolnothanks's favorite FMLs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

#21477092
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (30490)

On 10/07/2015 at 7:29am - health - by -_- (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

#21475453
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:45pm - love - by FML (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

#21467864
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (5470)

On 09/13/2015 at 2:03am - intimacy - by Ugh - United States

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (4100)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (3475)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2744)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (3870)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40640) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (3662)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (36235)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19936) - you deserved it (37812)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (6601)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: