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lolfood

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lolfood

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3895
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.




















































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... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>hodgepodge365</b> - 21 hours ago<b>justingug76</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Epickitty58</b> - yesterday at 12:57pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - yesterday at 11:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 6:33am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - yesterday at 5:16am<b>Kaylynn_Michele7</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:41pm<b>ThatDamHuntress</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:29am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:41am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:57pm<b>3051628</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:35am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:46am<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:33am<b>Cheshier</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:24am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:21am<b>Genius_Kitty</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:40am<b>orbit</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:40am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:24am

Liked!<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:57pm

lolfood's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10068) - you deserved it (26849)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (3796)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (5354)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (154399)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (10881)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (4896)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (40479)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (3593)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (26264) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (3074)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13347) - you deserved it (44384)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (5843)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -



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