About logankyng : Ahhhhhhh
logankyng's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
logankyng's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML
by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML
by exasperated / 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love
by angryinlaws / 10/12/2013 at 3:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML
by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals
by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health
Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML
by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
by kimm1993 / 08/03/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
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- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…