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lizzy6423

Offline (the 01/25/2015 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

lizzy6423

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 440
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lizzy6423's page activity

Visits<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 9:22am

lizzy6423's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lizzy6423's badges

lizzy6423's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (5364)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (7900)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61977) - you deserved it (7086)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5736) - you deserved it (26393)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

#4418017
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48826) - you deserved it (20093)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:25am - animals - by Entheatus (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML

#4007419
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52899) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:05pm - money - by Cougar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

#3073543
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56933) - you deserved it (15748)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
703 comments

I agree, your life sucks (731986) - you deserved it (56626)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55938) - you deserved it (12532)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (684693) - you deserved it (459100)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64228) - you deserved it (19027)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14620) - you deserved it (67605)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18441) - you deserved it (44382)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (4554)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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