littlepirate

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littlepirate

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7943
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About littlepirate : My life sucks, but I don't give a fuck.

littlepirate's page activity

Visits<b>last_kings84</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:38pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:24pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:34pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:13pm<b>BDanzeisen</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:27pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:27am<b>laurenemilyy</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:41am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:26pm<b>seanrod27</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:17am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:18pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:12pm<b>qwertyduck49</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:42pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:53am<b>alchemist27</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:30pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:32am<b>newyorkerkyle</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:40am<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:58am

Fucked!<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 1:17pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:32am<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:06pm

littlepirate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

littlepirate's favorite FMLs

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

by Grrrrr / 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

by dpl / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

by Offended / 02/19/2009 at 2:09am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

by lene / 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health