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littlem91

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littlem91
  • Town/Country : Cornwall, England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1115
  • Number of comments : 209
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About littlem91 : I'm somewhere on the coast in England. And I love animals, photography and sarcasm.

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littlem91's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (1967)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15912) - you deserved it (1574)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (2246)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5859) - you deserved it (27495)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (28950)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50960) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (10498)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (7816)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (37111)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50467) - you deserved it (6023)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (13261)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (7150)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (65368)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)



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