Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

little_aliceee

Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 4:56am) | Search for a member

little_aliceee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1274
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About little_aliceee : I am not a grammar Nazi; I am a grammar Christian. I like to condemn people for being wrong even when I don't know the rules myself.

little_aliceee's page activity

Visits<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:44pm<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:03am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01pm<b>tykatdesigns</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:21pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:34pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:54am<b>kaitlynb01</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:21am<b>fader48080</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:24am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:12pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:04pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:35pm<b>disgruntledchef</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:40am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:24pm

little_aliceee's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of little_aliceee's badges

little_aliceee's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (121886)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51038) - you deserved it (5202)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49175) - you deserved it (7846)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (13340)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (3674)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60208) - you deserved it (10603)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11432) - you deserved it (56767)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (2028)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (9686)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (11983)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (56188)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (5104)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: