Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/23/2015 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1172
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About little_aliceee : I am not a grammar Nazi; I am a grammar Christian. I like to condemn people for being wrong even when I don't know the rules myself.

little_aliceee's page activity

Visits<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:16am<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:03am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01pm<b>bradoiler</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:41am<b>tykatdesigns</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:21pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:34pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:54am<b>kaitlynb01</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:21am<b>fader48080</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:24am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:12pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:04pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:35pm<b>disgruntledchef</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:40am

little_aliceee's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of little_aliceee's badges

little_aliceee's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML


I agree, your life sucks (37785) - you deserved it (3653)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59818) - you deserved it (10531)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (56324)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20842) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (9654)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (11860)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (55653)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (5066)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (5653)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: