About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:
lissa_jade's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
lissa_jade's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
by bluebride / 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
by guard35 / 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by embarassed / 05/25/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told… Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page… Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube.…